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Oh My Gosh!
Definitely need to get me a neon bikini now. Vegas is screaming for a neon  bikini. Would definitely be nicer if i was tanned, but ho hum.

Definitely need to get me a neon bikini now. Vegas is screaming for a neon  bikini. Would definitely be nicer if i was tanned, but ho hum.

Michelle Keegan has the most slammin body EVER. Look at the tan too- sigh. 

Michelle Keegan has the most slammin body EVER. Look at the tan too- sigh. 

I LOVE the Kardashians. Everyone needs to watch  the show it is hilarious. Kourtneys stone cold personality cracks me up, especially when she laughs at poor Kimmy crying. Bless. how lovely do they look in bikinis? PERFECT bodies. 

I LOVE the Kardashians. Everyone needs to watch  the show it is hilarious. Kourtneys stone cold personality cracks me up, especially when she laughs at poor Kimmy crying. Bless. how lovely do they look in bikinis? PERFECT bodies. 

i love this picture. SUCH a gorgeous bikini. FYI she was an underage prostitute and Karly chops took a liking to her. She isn’t doing anything with Chanel though, he was clear about that. And by took a liking, i dont mean it in a sleazy way. Karl wouldnt do that. It would ruffle up his perfect suits. 

i love this picture. SUCH a gorgeous bikini. FYI she was an underage prostitute and Karly chops took a liking to her. She isn’t doing anything with Chanel though, he was clear about that. And by took a liking, i dont mean it in a sleazy way. Karl wouldnt do that. It would ruffle up his perfect suits. 

YES!

YES!

Oh my god. 

Oh my god. 

New years resolution- have a slammin’ body like the Kardashian sisters.

New years resolution- have a slammin’ body like the Kardashian sisters.



Big dreams, good music, expensive taste, nice knickers, good hair.


Big dreams, good music, expensive taste, nice knickers, good hair.

Kim Kardashian- Give me your body. I can offer you £2.10 i have in my pocket and an eyeliner. 

Kim Kardashian- Give me your body. I can offer you £2.10 i have in my pocket and an eyeliner. 

OH MY GOOD GOD. 
THIS is the level of tan that i need to achieve. I have never had tan lines like this and suddenly feel as though i am letting myself down. A tan line has the same effect as a love bite. It looks shit, weird, obvious and people cant take their eyes off it. The only difference with a tan line being that you can use it to seduce; “LOOK how white this is,” A boy is now looking at your vagina. Excellent. “Look at this vile bruise thing on my neck that some stranger did in a club last night,” Not going to work. 

Now googling deep tans. Might just resort to gravy granules again but i did smell of beef McCoys for a few days. I guess it was worth it in the end. 

OH MY GOOD GOD. 

THIS is the level of tan that i need to achieve. I have never had tan lines like this and suddenly feel as though i am letting myself down. A tan line has the same effect as a love bite. It looks shit, weird, obvious and people cant take their eyes off it. The only difference with a tan line being that you can use it to seduce; “LOOK how white this is,” A boy is now looking at your vagina. Excellent. “Look at this vile bruise thing on my neck that some stranger did in a club last night,” Not going to work. 

Now googling deep tans. Might just resort to gravy granules again but i did smell of beef McCoys for a few days. I guess it was worth it in the end.