I spend a lot of my time regretting things I’ve done. This is half true. My brain is desperate to regret and i phsyically shake my head to make it stop, whilst telling myself to STOP thinking about it, but my brain doesn’t obey me. Here are my top regrets of the month….
I saw the most perfect jeans ever and left them behind because i didn’t ‘need’ them. I obviously did, now they are no longer in stock.
i started dating someone (well a few people,) one of them is so irritating that every time i think of him i feel ashamed that i embarked on so much more than spit swapping with him. What was i thinking? I wasn’t. He is now erased from facebook and therefore life.
I regret not getting Lana Del Reys autograph after about 10 opportunities to do so.
I definitely regret asking Keith Lemon if he’s ever had a threesome, his response makes me shudder.
I also regret getting so mobidly drunk a few weeks ago, that my house looked like a crime scene in the morning. This is only a regret because of the way i FELT the next day.
I regret eating ALL that cheese. Like, i didn’t need ALL of it.
I regret meeting my ex boyfriend. In fact, i curse the day, because until he has another ex, I’ll always be associated with him. Ugh. Maybe by next year the slate is wiped clean (fingers crossed.)
Things i don’t regret and feel PROUD of…
That self fake tan i did a few weeks back with no streaks, no patches, just puuuuuurfecrtion. (little things innit.)
All the new music I’ve discovered.
WORKING BLOODY HARD.
Binning that ice cream that had been in the fridge for literally years but i was determined to still eat. I was strong.
This is all completely fucking pointless. No, it isn’t about you either.
How much do we love the bra bar? Id be taking off my favoruite Victorias Secret pink lace, jewelled, push up classic (the most delightfully trashy yet beautiful piece of underwear i’ve ever owned) and throwing it at the no doubt beautiful, tattooed, trilby hatwearing lunatic behind the bar. Who i will probably be having deep fantasies about, thinking quickly what i should say to impress, with everything in my mind going a bit too crazy because im overwhelmed by the coolness of it all. Yes, that would happen, that paragraph just proved it.
My dream last night was similar to this. It was awesome but i was wearing a HIDEOUS shirt. So much so that the vision of the shirt makes me shiver with disgust. Ew.
Lying down is just easier.
I wish this was my weekend. Sadly it wont be.
The only pose you should ever do whilst drunk. WAHHHH!
Amy was a blondie here. VERY VERY VERY blonde. We likey dont we?
This night was at the met lounge. As per usual we were absolutely hammered, but Meadows was more out of control than we were. Standard procedure. I do believe this night we went back to Meadows house with a load of people and Amy and i decided to treat the guests to a fake birthing scene in the garden. Im not sure why. That house had SO many doors, it was such a risk trying to get anywhere. You felt posessed in that house, and some of the doors did take you through the dream like places. It was all very Alice in Wonderland. Where does Alice go? Wonderland? They could have called it something better than that. Anyway, i like this picture because that was a good night. We were so hungover the next day we had a dominos at 11am and sat and watched The Hills in boderline silence all day, just cracking up every now and again about something that had happened the night before. The amount of days we spend hungover is ridiculous. But sensational at the same time. Ive been drunk since tuesday; just so you know. Amy and i have sat and drunk wine, rum and beer, danced, laughed and basically just taken shit loads of poppers until it stops being funny and starts becoming constant headache. I love living with her, but i love our nights out more. We bad. Very very bad.
This party looks like fun. By fun, i mean a table surrounded my makeshift beds, which is always a good time.
This makes me smile for some reason. Probably because im thinking of all the ways i would love to take advantage of him whilst drunk. In case you werent aware, its totally cool for girls to do this.
Just open your mouth really wide.