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Oh My Gosh!
Black lace is appropriate all year round. 

Black lace is appropriate all year round. 

Michelle Keegan has the most slammin body EVER. Look at the tan too- sigh. 

Michelle Keegan has the most slammin body EVER. Look at the tan too- sigh. 

YES!

YES!

Come at me bro. Come at me so i can fuck you up.

Come at me bro. Come at me so i can fuck you up.

OH MY GOOD GOD. 
THIS is the level of tan that i need to achieve. I have never had tan lines like this and suddenly feel as though i am letting myself down. A tan line has the same effect as a love bite. It looks shit, weird, obvious and people cant take their eyes off it. The only difference with a tan line being that you can use it to seduce; “LOOK how white this is,” A boy is now looking at your vagina. Excellent. “Look at this vile bruise thing on my neck that some stranger did in a club last night,” Not going to work. 

Now googling deep tans. Might just resort to gravy granules again but i did smell of beef McCoys for a few days. I guess it was worth it in the end. 

OH MY GOOD GOD. 

THIS is the level of tan that i need to achieve. I have never had tan lines like this and suddenly feel as though i am letting myself down. A tan line has the same effect as a love bite. It looks shit, weird, obvious and people cant take their eyes off it. The only difference with a tan line being that you can use it to seduce; “LOOK how white this is,” A boy is now looking at your vagina. Excellent. “Look at this vile bruise thing on my neck that some stranger did in a club last night,” Not going to work. 

Now googling deep tans. Might just resort to gravy granules again but i did smell of beef McCoys for a few days. I guess it was worth it in the end. 

I swear i am a gay man in an overly tarty girls body. I love glitter. 

I swear i am a gay man in an overly tarty girls body. I love glitter.